Post by : Saif Rahman

A Reddit thread that relayed blunt marriage advice from a divorce lawyer has captured broad attention online, prompting renewed discussion about how early relationship choices shape long-term outcomes.

The submission, posted in August 2025 to the subreddit Divorce, quoted a lawyer’s stark warning: “Everything you tolerate during dating will come back to you ten times harsher in marriage.” The line struck many readers and fueled the thread’s spread.

Contributors to the discussion noted that small, tolerated behaviours — from careless habits to emotional distance — often intensify after couples marry. Everyday pressures like bills, childcare and job stress, they argued, can amplify previously manageable problems.

Responses poured in by the thousands, with many users sharing personal stories of ignoring early warning signs and later regretting that choice. Several admitted they hoped a partner would change after marriage, only to find the issues entrenched.

Relationship professionals, cited in the thread and by commentators, caution that marriage rarely alters a person’s core patterns. Therapists and counsellors frequently advise couples to assess behaviours before committing, since established tendencies seldom vanish with vows.

The viral post also encouraged clearer conversations in the dating phase. Avoiding topics such as finances, long-term goals or boundaries can leave unresolved tensions that resurface more sharply within marriage, the thread suggested.

Readers added real-world examples. One shared how they wed believing a partner’s temper would mellow; a decade later it had worsened. Others described the post as a wake-up call that reshaped how they evaluate their own relationships.

The discussion has reopened debates about emotional maturity and partner selection, reinforcing the idea that affection alone is not sufficient. Respect, steady communication and compatible values, many concluded, are the practical foundations of a lasting marriage.

Summing up the thread’s sentiment, one commenter advised prospective spouses: “Don’t bet on potential — marry the person who’s already showing up.”